Broken Hearted

These past few days have been quite amazing. God is definitely doing some work on my heart and the hearts around me. I feel like everyday is God lead. Don't get me wrong it's hard, but it's completely rewarding when someone accepts the gift of the Word of Christ we are offering. We have met people from all over West Africa, and heard so many different languages amongst each tribe it's sometimes hard to distinguish the difference. Before I go on any further I really wanted to share what God's been doing in my own heart.

Last Friday we were in the Bronx for the day passing out the DVDs. This was going to be a short day for me because two other girls and I were going to a small in home bible study in the South Bronx. We had started up Burnside looking for African businesses or vendors we could talk to. As we turned the corner I noticed a small Mosque down the street, so I motioned toward it and mentioned it to the other girls. As we walked by I got a small glimpse inside and noticed the large amount of people that were already gathering outside the door as well. There were men in lines preparing their mats for prayer and their young sons right next to them. My leader turned to me and said 'My heart aches seeing this.' Right then and there I began praying, and the phrase 'Break my heart for what breaks yours, Father', came to mind. It was as if Christ himself were telling me 'My child, this is what breaks my heart. Seeing my people pray to a god that doesn't exist. Kaitlen, this is why you are here. This is why you exist, to make my name known & show my love to all. So many emotions where going through me by this point. I began to think about how I came to Christ. Yes, I was born into a Christian family & yes we went to church every Sunday. But, I was never told that I had to be a Christian or I will be disowned. I got the opportunity to choose for myself. Most Muslims are born into the religion & from that point on live their lives to be the best Muslim they can be to get to heaven. If a one point they decide to convert to another religion they are disowned by their family, cast out of their village or area of living, and in some cases a death threat is put on their lives.

I have song the 'Hosanna' by Hillsong United numerous times and never has it meant so much as it did that day. I continued to pray as I was walking down the streets for the next 15 minutes. God put something heavy on my heart. He told me that the last few days I was in New York were to be spent giving 100% of everything I am. Christ told me to not hold back from what He had to say through me. The sleep and rest would come later, He had great plans that needed to be brought to life. I can't tell you how unbelievably amazed I was that seeing the people praying with my own eyes, opened up my eyes and the eyes of my heart to what God was trying to tell me the whole time.

God is an amazing God! The devil since then has tried to attack me spiritually and emotionally, but I've learned to bring it all to Christ. To lay my burdens at His feet & say I give you all the control. The devil must not have like that because he then started attacking my physically. One night I was having the worst stomach pains, & couldn't be more then 2 minutes away from a bathroom at all times. Then I got a rare skin rash from the sun that lasted a few days. And finally my migraines that I had before the trip started to return. I must say through the pain of it all I just laughed, because I knew this all was an attack from Satan. I would just lift it up to Christ, and when ministry time came I was ready to go pain free. If this doesn't convince you God is in control, then I don't know what else to do.

I serve a great & mighty God!

A New York Minute Is Way Faster Then Any Texas Minute

Let me first just start off saying this trip has been one adventure after another. The amazing thing is that God hand picked all of the us for this specific trip. It's awesome how 8 girls, who've only met once, have bonded so quickly. It's like we're all family. We know that nothing can be done without the others, this whole trip has been a group effort right from the beginning.

I will say it's not quite what I expected, but Christ is stretching me and my comfort zone daily. The days are extremely long and we are constantly on the move. We describe are trip here as a sprint not a marathon, because there is no time for rest or breaks. Our breaks are rare, but when when we have one the time is spent in quiet time with God & prayer. That's been my stronghold. I haven't gone a day without talking to God at least every hour.

Yesterday we spent the day in Harlem, which if you don't know is known for violence & ethnic diversity, and went from business to business passing out The Word of God and the story of Jesus Christ DVD to Muslims in 15 different West African languages. (A little background on the Muslim religion. They believe Muhammad wrote the bible, Koran, and that Allah is God. They really don't believe in Jesus. Some believe that Jesus is Mary's son, but that he had no earthly father, or some go as far to say that God came down to earth and had sex with Mary. Another big thing is Muslims believe that the way to get to heaven is to be the best Muslim you can be. This means to following whatever the Koran says & be faithful to it. It is of course Muhammad's teachings.) I must say that was hard. We were told that asking a Muslim to convert to Christianity is like asking an American to give up his citizenship, move to other country and become a citizen there. Right now even thinking about it brings tears to my eyes because of the spiritual battle that was raging in me. My heart was very heavy & I physically being torn on the inside. Our purpose is not to argue with people or even necessarily prove a point, we just want them to know the truth & in that experience Christ's love through us.

I really must say that this trip has opened my eyes to not only what the West Africans go though, but also the rest of the world. The hostel that we're staying at housing people from all over the world. Just in the three days I've been here I've met people from Germany, North Korea, France, New Zealand, Canada, and Argentina. The place I'm staying is a mission field in and of itself! (Is that not the coolest God thing ever?!) Christ hand has been upon us from the very start. Protecting us and keeping us safe, guiding us to where we need to be, giving us knowledge and the words to say.
Two songs have been on my heart and in my head from the moment we stepped foot in NYC, Chris Tomlin's 'God in This City' and Kari Jobe's 'The More I Seek You'. Pray that these songs come to life while were here or that seeds will be planted. Please keep my entire group in your prayers. Pray for endurance, energy, courage, knowledge, and happy & open hearts.

Commissioning Prayer

Faithful God, you called me;

and by your Holy Spirit you are giving

purpose to my life,

empowering me to live a life worthy of my calling.

I thank you for leading me to this time and place,

this ministry and service to your people.

Stir up in me the gift of your Holy Spirit

to serve those in need with compassion and vision.

As I walk in faith,

Supported by the prayers of family and friends,

Pass me your servant's towel

And grant me gladness and strength for the task,

As the Father sent you, please go with me and

Grant me discipline and hope, humility, humor, and courage.

And above all, may others know you by my love. Amen.

John 17:20-26

As I'm leaving for my mission trip to New York City, this quote is my prayer. The bible verse is one that gives me strength, hope, knowledge, and reassurance that this is truly what God has called me to do. I will not let the devil have a foothold & try to bring my down with the difficulties in life. God has a plan for this trip and the next, and my only hope is that His love be shown through all that may happen. Not my will, but yours be done oh Lord!

Thank you for all the prayers leading up to the trip & now. They are most definitely needed.

~In Christ

Reconstruction

I just wanted to share what God's been doing in my heart lately.

First off let me tell you, the Devil's been attacking me in every way possible. But the cool thing is that God always has a way to counteract it. He's been showing me some truths about my life. Some things I need to change and work on, but also the good that needs to be strengthened. I know without a shadow of a doubt that He's preparing me for even more battles to come. Christ has been breaking and molding me back together into the woman of God he wants me to be. This act has left me awestruck & in total surrender to his plans for my life. I'm not gonna lie, I'm scared and unsure at times, but Faith is all about believing in what you cannot see. I don't have a clue what the future holds for me at this point. I've realized I need to be thankful for what God's given me today, right now, and not worry about what's to come. That's all in His plans. It's for him to know and me to find out. Preparing my heart for NYC is right now, and whatever Christ wants to do with that situation- Let it be!

P.S.- I found these pics from the last time I went to NYC. They get me stoked about what's to come!

It Has Begun...

Hello to all my fellow bloggers!
This is so new to me and yet very enticing. I love to write journals, but have never been good at keeping up with them. But I figured, to keep everyone informed on what's going on in my ministry this would be the best way to share.
Just so you know, God has given me a crazy passion for missions & a true longing to spread Christ's love to the nations. My hope is that one day everyone gets the opportunity to experience grace and have a knowledge or at least an understanding of Christ's unconditional love. What better way to show that then to go. That's what God has called me to do, and so I've learned not to ask questions just do it.
My journey just this year has been one of growth and maturity. God has taken me out of my comfort zone and shown me how to live a life of total abandonment. This is not my life. This is not my body. It's Christ living through me. It's crazy when you ask God to use you what He is capable of. I have been put in uncomfortable possible even dangerous situations and come out thinking, 'Wow! You are in control! Not my will, but Yours be done.' My hope is that every Christian gets to experience something like that, not being put in a dangerous situation but, being stretched and having to fully rely on God.
I'm going to sign off with a quote from Walter Wilson that kind of exemplifies the life I want to live...

"Lord I give You this body of mine; from my head to my feet, I give it to You. My hands, my limbs, my eyes, my brain; all that I am inside and out, I hand over to You. Live in and through me whatever life You please. You may send this body to Africa, or lay it on a bed with cancer. You may blind my eyes, or send me with Your message to Tibet. You make take this body to the Eskimos, or send it to a hospital with pneumonia. This body of mine is Yours alone from this moment on."